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Apple Admits Their Users Are Mentally Deficient; Still Making Money Off Projects That Should Fail; Nerds Rage All Over the WorldPosted on: January 15, 2008 Today was MacWorld! This means nothing to everyday people, but for about a devout group of people, this means a whole lot every year, and it also means a lot of rage from a far larger group of nerds. MacWorld is Apple’s chance to give themselves a very expensive spotlight and proceed to pleasure themselves in front of a bunch of losers who would like to call themselves “artists” and “computer users” with their mouths gaping wide open hoping to receive a bit of the money shot from Steve Jobs Himself (they just say “God”,) while Apple just proceeds to embarrass themselves further. This year’s big announcement was rumored to be a new laptop! Oh boy, the Macfags are starting to get really excited now! Then it was rumored to be an ultraportable laptop! The Macfags were starting to build a little tent in their pants, that is, if they even had a penis to begin with. The rest of us “nerds” were waiting for the kicker, the one, or more, stupid things that would make us laugh and wonder why they even considered getting this product off the drawing board. This came, in many ways. First, it was confirmed that it would have a 13.3 inch display (thus making the entire unit at least a little bit over that.) By the “technical” definition, this is not an ultraportable laptop, in fact, it makes it as wide as their Macbook line of laptops. Secondly, it was confirmed that it would have no optical drive. Yes. That was correct. There is no DVD drive in the damn thing. This is to be expected in other standard ultraportable laptops, like the Asus EeePC, but for something that is as large as a standard laptop, it’s kind of expected to be there. But that’s not all! It was announced to have no user replaceable battery. I can just see the iPod battery fiasco all over again. But it still goes on! There’s only one, count ‘em, ONE USB port on it, along with a miniDVI port, a headphone jack and the power connector. Yes, that’s it. No, I’m not kidding. And here’s the coup de’grace: the price tag. Apple is always known for being overpriced, but this is beyond unnecessary. The base model is, and I’m not kidding, this is right off their web page: $1,799. Yes, that’s one thousand, seven hundred and ninety-nine US dollars. To put it in perspective: that is more expensive than any of the Macbook models they have and more expensive than the 20 inch iMac models they have, and spec-wise, they’re far more powerful machines. Oh, you want a slightly faster processor and a solid state drive? Well that’s going to cost you $3,098. More perspective: that is more expensive than any of the Macbook Pro models they have, more expensive than the 24 inch iMac models, and more expensive than the base Mac Pro model. Yes, this is all true. It’s right there in the Apple Store for you to look at. Apple is trying to peddle off crippled sociopathic laptops that can’t decide whether they are a laptop or an ultraportable under the guise that it IS an ultraportable at prices that are greater than their other machines. Yes, this is insane. Yes, this should fail miserably. But you want to know the thing that pisses everyone off? It’s likely to succeed. There are enough retards out there that would consider this TOTALLY AWESOME and that they MUST GET IT. I am certain that I will have seen at least ONE in the hands of another student by the end of this semester. This is shameful. I will probably be in jail for assault by the end of this semester because I will have slapped said college student’s Macbook Air on to the ground and destroyed it with my bare hands. |
Japanese Advertising: Making You Want Things You Normally Wouldn’t Want. Making You Not Want Things You Normally Would Want.Posted on: January 6, 2008 Man, these commercials make me want Fanta. Which is more than I can say for the commercials we get States-side. |
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