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November 7: NEW YORK FIGHT NIGHT

Posted on: October 30, 2006

BOUT 1:
Negative Sound Bite Extravaganza
House of Representatives
Tom “Yes, That Tom Reynolds” Reynolds
vs.
Jack “Hey, He Did It First” Davis

BOUT 2:
“Who the fuck is the other guy?” Mk. I
New York Governor
Eliot “I Guess I Remember That New York” Spitzer
vs.
John “I Had to Look This Up on Wikipedia Because I’ve Never Seen His Name Before” Faso

BOUT 3:
“Who the fuck is the other guy?” Mk. II
or
Jesus Fuck, I’m Picking the Lesser of Two Evils Here And, To Be Honest, I Don’t Want Either
Senate
Hillary “I’m Only Here For The Cameras” Clinton
vs.
John “Who The Fuck Are You, Get Out, I Don’t Agree With Your Ideas” Spencer

Oh man, New York is just so screwed.

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The Internet is SERIOUS BUSINESS

Posted on: October 9, 2006

Diag. a - This is how serious the internet is. To the unexperienced, it would appear that the internet is not serious, but do not let its disguise fool you.

this is irrefutable truth

also, there are no womens on teh internets

What is the internet you ask? Some will tell you that it’s a dump truck that you just grab things from or dump into.

That is a lie.

Diag. b - This is an accurate description of what occurs when a “tube flush” happens and you receive the many gifts of the internet. One man’s trash is another man’s gold mine, they say.

Even still, others will tell you that it is for porn.

They’re not any less wrong than those dump truck morons.

Yes, the internet, is actually scientifically proven to be nothing more than a series of tubes. And sometimes these tubes get full, slowing it down for the rest of the netizens, so Important People, like Alaskan Sentor Ted Stevens can’t get his e-mails. Or maybe even making Democratic Representative Mark Foley incapable of connecting to AIM to send lewd messages to former Congressional Pages.

In such instances, “Network Admins” (E-Plumbers) must send out a form of E-Draino (they normally call this “Windows Exploits,”) to purge the internet of it’s backed-up shit.

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