OMG !! LOL !!

HI, I’M A MAC, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU RETARDS OUT THERE KNOW BY BEING THE WITTY TEENAGER. WE ALL KNOW I SHOULD ONLY CARE ABOUT LOOKING AT PORN ON MY COMPUTER, BUT I’M COOL! I WILL BE ACCOMPANIED BY A JAPANESE CHICK. SHE WILL INSULT ME BY CALLING ME AN “OTAKU,” BUT YOU DON’T KNOW NIHONGO BAKA DESU~^_^
DUH, I’M A PC, I WILL FAIL TO NOTE I AM RUNNING WHAT IS PROBABLY MICROSOFT WINDOWS 98 (BY THE SOUNDS OF THESE COMMERCIALS,) DISGUISED AS WINDOWS XP, AND WILL DISPLAY FALSE MANNERISMS.
SO WE FOUND OUT WE DO A LOT OF SIMILAR SHIT

LIKE “BROWSING THE INTERNET,” “LISTENING TO MUSIC,”

YEAH AND OTHER STUFF LIKE “NETWORKING,” AND “CONNECTING DEVICES.” I OF COURSE, WILL SHOW SOME AMOUNT OF CONTEMPT TOWARDS YOU BECAUSE I THINK YOU DO THESE THINGS IN A RETARDED MANNER.

TO WHICH I SAY “TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, PRETTY-BOY FAG.”

I WILL NOTE THAT I DO IT IN A MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING WAY THAT SOMEHOW MAKES SENSE.

I WILL CONVENIENTLY MISS NOTING THAT YOUR UI STANDARDS ARE REPEATEDLY BROKEN AS OFTEN AS MINE ARE. INSTEAD, I WILL STARE BLANKLY, AND PROBABLY GO “OH.”
I WILL MAKE SOME WITTY COMMENT ABOUT YOUR UI BEING A “FISHER-PRICE TOY.”
I WILL ALSO CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT WHILE THAT’S TRUE, AT LEAST MY END-USERS CAN CHANGE THIS WITHOUT HAVING TO FURTHER RAPE THEIR WALLET.

I WILL TRY MY HAND AT A CRACK ABOUT YOU HAVING TO REBOOT TO MAKE ANY OF THOSE CHANGES, ANYWAY. MAYBE I’LL EVEN THROW IN SOMETHING ABOUT CRASHING, OH DEAR LORD HOLD ME BACK.
KETTLE, I CALL YOU BLACK.

LET’S THROW THE CURVEBALL AND USE SOME “RAVE REVIEW” FROM SOME PRETENTIOUS DOUCHEBAG WHO MEANS JACK SQUAT TO THE INDUSTRY AS A WHOLE (I’LL JUST SAY HE’S IMPORTANT, THOUGH,) TO MAKE MY PRODUCT LOOK BETTER. BECAUSE NUMBERS IMPRESS RETARDS.

I WILL JUST STUMBLE AROUND TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK BETTER,BUT I DON’T REALLY NEED TO. SEE, IF YOU WERE SO GOOD, YOU’D HAVE THE MAJORITY OF THE MARKET RIGHT NOW.

HEY, IF THAT WERE THE CASE, YOU WOULDN’T NEED TO STEAL MY SHIT.

NAH, IT’S ALRIGHT, NOBODY IS GOING TO USE THE NEXT VERSION OF MY OS, ANYWAY.