OMG !! LOL !!

Recently in the past month, Rockstar Games has come under much scrutiny over a mod/hack of it’s popular Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas game called “Hot Coffee.” The series of games has always been under fire because of it’s amount of violence, but it gets even more rediculous because “Hot Coffee” introduces sex to the series. OH MY GOD!

Apparently, all the “Hot Coffee” mod does is unlock some hidden, unreferenced code in San Andreas that Rockstar put in the game.

See, apparently they were going to have this sex minigame using the girlfriends system of the game, wherein after a few good dates and treating her right, she would invite you for some “coffee.” Where you would then pleasure her, and if you don’t, well, you lost the minigame. It would range from oral sex, and then to go onto the various forms of non-sodomy sex.

But, Rockstar decided that having this in the game wouldn’t have been too much of a good idea. But, instead of removing the coding, they just never referenced it. And apparently forgot about it, because come time for the Xbox and PC versions, it was still there. So, the guy who made the mod, was just looking at the code, found that section of code, and then referenced it to the game. And then, he found out it was also in the PS2 and Xbox versions of the game.

What we have here is the recipie for a wildfire.

Since there was nothing better to argue about during the summer, this caught on like nothing. It exploded into the media. And like the media, they overhype it. And like a lot of gullible people, they believe what the media says without any research. So, what we have people believing is full-blown polygonal sexxing-it-up.

I have seen screenshots and videos in action of it, and I tell you, it’s not very sexy. I think I saw a nipple in one of those screenshots.

So now we have a bunch of politicians, like Hillary Clinton (yeah, good job representing NY,) berating the ESRB and how they “failed everyone.” We have a bunch of clueless parents, who bought the games for their own kids going nuts about sex, the natural act of reproduction that you used to concieve your own children, and your parents used to concieve your dumb self, in a game, which is apparently FAR worse than the unnatural act of running around, beating people up, shooting cops and stealing cars. Or is that old because you complained about it with Grand Theft Auto III?

The thing is, the ESRB “failed” nobody. Nobody “failed” anything. The ESRB rated what was presented to them by Rockstar, where Rockstar presented them with ingame content. The “Hot Coffee” sections were never referenced in the game, so they had no reason to show what gamers wouldn’t have gotten access to. The ESRB rated it “M,” for “Blood and Gore,” “Intense Violence,” “Storng Language,” “Strong Sexual Content” (I feel the “Hot Coffee” sections would, and should, fall under that,) and “Use of Drugs.” That describes the content of the game and what will be encountered to a tee.

Rockstar made the right choice in making the content unavailable. They knew this would happen. It’s just that if you make a PC game, people are going to go through the code extensively, and if they find a goldmine like this, it will get released. Rockstar just forgot that major tip.

This of course exclues the whole theory that Rockstar actually released the patches as a publicity stunt, because any free publicity will end up being good publicity.

What ends up happening is parents, politicians and even our good friend and MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR Jack Thompson, telling the ESRB to rerate the game, and pounding on Rockstar’s doors for information. Rockstar first said they never had that in the game and it was the work of “crafty l33t haxx0rz,” but later retracted that statement and replaced it with “oops we effed up lollers.”

On the ESRB front, we have a new argument brewing. To have the ESRB be forced to rerate a game would essentially destroy it’s status as a third-party, unbiased group. But to not rerate the game would destroy the ESRB as a reliable source of “informing” people of the content within a game. They had to choose the option that would appease the dumb commonfolk.

The ESRB rerated the game as “AO,” or “Adults Only,” and changed some of it’s rules on submitting content to be rated. The ESRB now requires ALL “objectional” content to be shown, regarless if the content could be accessed or not. Many gamers have critcized the rerating and the rulechanging due to the fact that it’s not actually in the game, therefore, it shouldn’t be subject to be rated. Also, many have critcized the “AO” rating as a joke, since the only difference it seems between an “M” game and an “AO” game is if it depicts graphical sex.

Many have also criticized the ESRB for overlooking the game God of War which depicts full-on nudity, yet it only has an “M” rating. They are complaining about a double standard being set. As of now, God of War has been completely overlooked by everyone.

As such with being given an “AO” rating, many, if not most or all, stores have removed all copies of San Andreas from their shelves, either because of company policy in stocking “AO” games or just being too lazy to slap an “AO” rerate sticker on the game. It is assumed that Rockstar is working on re-releasing San Andreas for the Xbox and PS2 without the “Hot Coffee” data, and releasing a patch for the PC version that removes the data.

As a side argument for the PC game, many gamers also criticize rating of any PC game a joke, since with enough hacking and reworking, you could make any game an “AO” game. Thus, came in our good ol’ friend Jack Thompson to pull out the red flag on EA/Maxis’ The Sims 2 calling it a “pedophiles playground,” allowing you to remove the censor with just a simple command in the game’s terminal (apparently he went to GameFAQ’s looking for “l33t ch33ts”,) and called for a ban of the game. Everyone has dismissed it since the 3D models are essentially the equivalent to Barbie , Ken and whatnot dolls. So they have no genitals and just lumps in their place.

Now, San Andreas is worth it to sell on eBay because of your inability to buy it, well, anywhere in the United States.

The argument about the rating has now shifted over to criticizing every rating organization in the US, by gamers. They say that if mocked sex in a game is worth an “AO” rating, then why should a movie with sex in it not get an “NC-17″ rating? Why do we allow far worse things by on TV with only a “TVPG,” “TV14,” or the hardly threatening “TVMA” rating?

However, us gamers are ignored, because we are a part of something far worse than TV or movies, apparently. This whole scandal has brought up a severe resurgance of the argument with games “causing” children to physically repreform the acts, and that many violent games are “programming” children to be “natural killers.”

Which defys logic to me.

The argument against that is, if your child were to repreform those acts and say a ficticious, nonrealistic game caused them to do it, the games were not the source. You child was far messed up beforehand. The games just didn’t help. Gamers also quote studies of games being far better for you than they are bad, such as having better hand-eye coordination.

I tend to believe that more than the whole “programming to be killers” argument, since it makes the most sense and isn’t filled with incredible bias.

Many argue against it also, saying that violent games would actually reduce aggression, since it allows them to relieve this aggression is a nonserious, acceptable manner.

In the most recent of news is people beginning to notice Rockstar’s next game, titled Bully, wherein you play the role of a child in a reform school, who rises up against those “oppressing” him and playing pranks on teachers. The groups are only, what, two months too late since it was announced at this year’s E3. The game is slated for release in October of this year.

Many groups, even worldwide ones, are calling for a boycott of the game, because it apparently hits a little too close to home for them. They argue that this happens to their littly Billies on a daily basis, and that they should have to relive it. They apparently never looked at the fine details, since it’s about a kid that is being picked on, rising up against those who pick on him.

I personally am dismissing many arguments since it is just people jumping on the “Let’s hate Rockstar” bandwagon, but the “Hot Coffee” train has already made it’s run, so they are just looking for things to complain about.

And even more recently, Jack Thompson (surprise!) came out with a statement to boycott or rerate the game Killer7 for having a sex scene in it. This sex scene is apparently on par with something you’d see in Sin City and everyone is just pointing and laughing at Jack Thompson for his poor choice in targets, since Killer7 is selling poorly. Sales are expected to skyrocket now.

My personal opinion about the whole matter is that this is caused a lot by the irresponsibility and lack of information or pollution of misinformation by parents.

The ESRB was created a little over 10 years ago due to the Mortal Kombat fiasco, to rate games as suggestions (this is a KEY WORD,) to parents buying games. This worked because games were more expensive then, and gaming was mostly towards younger people. And without Internet stores like we have today, children and parents went to the store and looked at the games. It also worked because parents weren’t as retarded as they are now.

Parents now believe that the ESRB ratings are some sort of law that is to be upheld by, well, not them. This is not true, though, the ESRB ratings are still suggestions, but due to various complaints, regulations have been placed on them by a few states (New York being one of them.) But it is still up to the parent buying the game to determine if it is acceptable for you child.

This has been made difficult, I realize, by the fact that some small kids carry around more money than I do.

Parents today have forgotten that if you have a child, the only person resposible for them is YOU. If you cannot handle the responsibility of handling a child, for chrissakes castrate/neuter yourself, and save the rest of us who CAN the trouble of dealing with your mistakes, because nobody wants to take care of your children. The zit-faced kid at the Wal-Mart electronics section cash register simply does not care. He has an essay to write and math homework to do tonight. The last thing on his mind is if your 10-year-old is mature enough to play a game.

And the other thing is lack of information. The ESRB ratings have usually been spot-on as to the content of the game and why it could be objectionable. Look at the rating. Read it’s contents. It’s right on the back of the case/box. It’s right on the game description page if you’re ordering it online. You cannot miss it.

But these people are allowed to claim that they “didn’t know,” or by legal standards, “ignorance.”

Last I knew, however, “ignorance” has never been an accepable excuse, anywhere.

So, I leave you with this: If ignorance is never an acceptable excuse, why should it be for them?

My friend gave me a wallscroll for my birthday.

A wallscroll, for those that are unknowing, is essentially a poster, prined on fabric, and then put in between two plastic rails, creating a scroll.

These are pretty much only popular in Japan and relating to anime. I think MediaPlay sells them, and there are plenty of places online that sell them, like AnimeNation.

It looks so sweet. It’s from R.O.D: The TV, which is one of my must-see’s, especially with it’s “prequal” R.O.D. (R.O.D stands for Read Or Die.)

I have it in front of my computer desk, so every time I glance up, it catches my eye, and every time I see it, I go “Oh holy crap is that so AWESOME.” Adds some much-needed flavor and showing of my interests.

I’d take a picture, but I can’t. So, here’s what it looks like:

If I can find it in a store, I’d like to get the other one, and put it on the other side of my room. It’d be like BAM, doubleshot. Of awesome.

If not that one, maybe one of the many Last Exile ones, because Last Exile is really cool, and has good art design.

I would be in heaven if FLCL wallscrolls were capable of being put into my possesion.

Oh, I so now have to watch R.O.D: The TV again.